10 thoughts I have when I travel on the Central Line

London's Holy Grail

1. Is it just me, or is everyone refusing to stand on the right today?

2. I should offer my seat to that lady. (Mental evaluation of potential age of lady). Will said lady be offended if I offer her a seat? (Is she that old?) Drama avoided: lady alighted.

3. 50% of passengers seem to get off at Bank, 20% at Liverpool Street, 30% at Oxford Circus. I am among the stragglers.

4. Realisation that my maths is awful.

5. Should I tell the woman opposite that her jumper is inside out?

6. (Is my jumper inside out?)

7. Deliberating the likelihood of accidentally whacking the kid next to me if I attempt to grab that Evening Standard.

8. My arms are evidently shorter than I imagined.

9. Clearly, I am a Central Line ninja: paper in hand, mission accomplished.

10. Shock and disappointment when it turns out some commuter has already done the crossword.

11. Regret at at not having taken the District Line.

12. Second realisation that my maths is awful.

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